We've got spirit, yes we do!

I have a spirited child. Well, at least that's what we're calling Mia as of late. She's always been, well, the way she is, but things have intensified in the last month or two. She can be wild, stubborn, moody, demanding, anxious and slow to warm up. Of course, I'm just mentioning the frustrating aspects of her personality because those are what's driving me crazy these days. Literally crazy. Some days I feel like my head is going to pop off! I get angry and frustrated, and every once in a while I've had to have a little cry to release the pressure.

So lately we've set out on a quest for help and direction, and that's where I came across the term "spirited" child. I was excited to come across a book about the subject-- Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. The book starts off like this: "The word that distinguishes spirited children from other children is more. They are normal children who are more intense, persistent, sensitive, perceptive, and uncomfortable with change than other children." Boundless energy, a quick withdrawal from anything new and moodiness are also given as typical characteristics. Hmmm...sounds like Mia!

Now I haven't read that far into the book yet, but I'm hoping to find some help in understanding her. Already it's had me redefine the labels I put on her...like the labels I listed in the beginning of this post. Here's how those "labels" would be redefined:
Wild...energetic
Stubborn...assertive, a willingness to persist in the face of difficulties
Moody...emotive
Demanding...holds high standards
Anxious...cautious
Slow to warm up...observant, not impulsive

When I talked to my sister briefly about the term spirited, she wasn't familiar with it-- she said, "you mean undisciplined?" I imagine lots of people feel this way. Even I wonder if all this is just substituting fancy euphemisms for not-so-nice characteristics. Maybe it just makes us feel better about our kids and ourselves....I don't know. All I know is that I resonate with what I read in this book.

After I read the book to completion I'll give an update on my findings. I'm hoping to discover some good tools. Now my primary tool for coping is praying...a lot. :) I pray for Mia, the person she is and the person she'll grow into. But mostly I pray for myself. I pray for heaps of patience and the ability to love Mia-- not with just the undying love that any parent has for their child, because this love, although immense, can be clouded by circumstance-- I pray to be able to love her the way God loves her. Perfect. Real. Unconditional.