Well, today I am 37 weeks along in my pregnancy. Baby is now considered full-term, so I guess that means we can expect her arrival any day now. Thank God. Seriously. I am so ready to have this baby out of my body and in my arms!
My feelings about this pregnancy have kind of been a roller coaster. After the initial shock and disbelief that I was actually pregnant again so soon I felt a mixture of feelings. Part of me felt happy (I mean how can you not be happy to have another baby?!), but part of me just didn't feel ready. I felt like I was just pregnant, I was still nursing Mia and my body was finally almost back to normal. Well, I guess I got over that before too long and just embraced being excited. Then, lo and behold, the anxiety of having 2 kids set in. And not just 2 kids--- 2 babies really. I mean, 19 months apart really isn't very much. In many ways Mia is still like a baby. I worried about not just my ability to even handle it but my ability to keep my sanity! Around the time I was having these feelings Mia was acting particularly clingy and cranky...which wasn't helping the matter. Thankfully, I had a good conversation with my sister who helped calm me down about the whole thing. Also, she reminded me that our kids pick up on our negative feelings-- perhaps this was why Mia was acting the way she was. After that phone call, a few tears, a big plea for help from God and a major attitude adjustment...I felt much better. And go figure, Mia started acting a lot better after that!
In making the actual preparations for this baby's arrival I've come to feel a sweet joy (if that makes any sense). Pulling out those little newborn clothes from storage, getting the infant carseat ready, buying all the nursing essentials-- all those things have helped bring me to the place where I'm really ready for this baby. And I'm really happily anticipating her too. I absolutely adore the little person that Mia is, and I know I'll feel the same way about this child too. I am reminded of God's Word that tells us He knows us before we are knitted in our mother's womb and we are "fearfully and wonderfully made." Indeed, this child is God's creation...and I'm happy that I have the opportunity to be part of bringing her into the world.
But that doesn't change the fact that I'm ready to have my body back! ;)
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6 comments:
Great blog, Ana. I enjoy hearing ideas from you we never even get to talk about. And your grammar looks fine, too.
I can't even imagine the range of emotions- I feel all of those, and that's just with Liam! You're going to do a great job, Mama!
What a beautiful and honest description of the realities of life! I too am excited to have my babies close together but realize there may be days I feel a little crazy. The good thing is...we're in this together! Love you and blessings upon your delivery and transition from 1 to 2. You're in our prayers!
Ana, Take it from me, You are going to do GREAT!!! If I survived it four times with 5 all close together, anyone can!!! You have so much more patience than I do, and I can see how that would be one of the reasons why it has been hard for you to think about what's ahead, plus you have seen me go crazy many times, that probably doesn't help much, but you are so much more patient than I am and your children will be too. I'm a crazy redhead and so things get emotional and loud here just because of who I am. But, like your sister said, your kids feel it too, and you are so loving, patient and kind, Mia will follow that example and you WILL BE AMAZED at how precious it is to see her helping you out and loving on her baby sister. Ruthie and Abby were 21 mo. apart, so I know! And I also know exactly what you were feeling because I then had Sammy 19 mo. after Abby. So, like I said, if I survived it, anyone can, especially you!!! I am so happy for you!!! Just miss you all very much. I don't even look across the street out my window anymore, because I know you guys aren't there anymore. We miss you!!! Please let us know ASAP so we can arrange a meal delivery for you. :-) Love you,
Kim Mustard
Ana,
I saw your e-mail on my phone about the blog and was not able to open it until now. The blog would not open on my phone and I just got hooked up to the internet again after a few months of being down-yeah:D} I love your blog and hope you are able to keep it up. It is wonderful that you can be honest about your feelings. You are an excellent mother and your kids are truly blessed to have you as their mom. Great talking to you today. You are almost there!! Get a massage, walk around, dance a little and that baby will be ready to enter this world soon:D}
Carrie
Ana,
I am sure you can figure out who "anonymous" is since I wrote my name at the bottom and indicated talking to you today. Just so it is clear that it is me, I wanted to tell you I have never posted anything on a blog and am not sure why mine says "anonymous" but I will see if this one shows up that way too:D} No worries about some stranger telling you to get a massage:D} I might be creeped out by that! Carrie Ingegneri
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